I was an atheist till the GOD made me realize his existence and his power. I believe it was my GOD who choose me and helped me grow more spiritual. I always pray LORD JESUS rule me in your love, words and spirit. Restrain from all those things which is not from you. My life started to be beautiful. I feel the blossoms of nature and enjoy the bliss being with ma GOD and immense peace which is ineffable. Soon I experienced my DAD “Jesus” magical healing power. I call my GOD DAD. He cured my sickness. He taught me the real meaning of forgiveness. My DAD said me to be patient, to HUMBLE myself… I obeyed and started practicing it until the day when I break down and said NOOOO NOT anymore. I CAN’T… I can’t do it anymore. I don’t wanna be like you… Yes I do like you but I don’t wanna be like you my DAD because in return I am getting thrones, humiliation and rejection. I said NOO let me go back to this world; I want to be ME and myself. My DAD said yes my child I will not force you. It was my love for you made you realize about me but I have also given you a free will to choose your way and path. Soon within no time I turned back. I started going away from his kingdom. I lose the fidelity with my LORD. My heart strived to get back into all the pleasures of this WORLD. I got lured, deceived and bound in the worldly chains. Gradually I started losing propitiations. I was ruled by arrogance, stubbornness, Ego. My self-pride inside in me never allowed me to HUMBLE myself. My arrogance said me not to give up and you have to win in all the fights and arguments even by making others hurt. My EGO made me feel hurt for even silly things. I lost my peace. I realized the relationships are getting spoiled because of me. I CRIED and asked myself WHY? What’s happening to me? Why even after trying a lot of times I can’t mend the broken relationships in my life. I get drowned and yelled I am sinking LORD. Why do you left me like this alone and watch me cry and see me helpless.. .I CALL YOU… SPEAK TO ME!!
I heard that same voice from wilderness which called me when I was in DARK.
Me: Is it you my DAD?
GOD: YES my CHILD
Me: Where you were DAD all these days? Didn’t you see things getting spoiled? You didn’t see my cry? You didn’t see me weeping alone in the dark? You didn’t see me in that PAIN??
GOD: YES I DID but I was waiting for you to call me. I was always there with you but you didn’t call me and you took your free will to choose your own path. You said to me that no more prayers and you are not interested. And further you said yes you like me but you can’t follow me… DON”T YOU REMEMBER my child?
Me: Yes I do. My mind is disturbed? I am perplexed! I want PEACE!!
GOD: The peace I give you is not of this WORLD. My PEACE is ETERNAL.
Me: People complain to me that I am becoming more arrogant and stubborn
GOD: My Child you were like this earlier. But it was me in you made me the change. You became a new creation in me on the day when you welcomed and accepted me as your personal savior and father. It was my LOVE & WARMTH people experienced in you. I stopped ruling you on that day when you said that you don’t need my guidelines anymore. It was my love which ruled you to be a good person. Now if people see and complain about your attitude then it’s not me it’s YOU. It’s your mind and body which is ruling you.
Me: I agreed but how do I mend it DAD. I tried and tried but can’t put me back into the right TRACK?
GOD: You can’t repair it yourself no matter how hard you try. Because it was my strength my child which mend your relationships. It was not your work… the WORK done by me for my CHILD.
Me: my marriage is in STRUGGLE? What should I do?
GOD: Neither the SEX nor this WORLD can heal your marriage. Give it to me my CHILD. Prioritize me in your life because when I gave my everything for you; then what is stopping you to prioritize me in your LIFE?
Me: My KID? She doesn’t love me!
GOD: None of your discipline and devotion can save your kid. Root deep in her my teachings. Let them grew up by seeing me in you through your practice and deeds. Love them unconditionally without expectation. You just have to look at my sacrifice at the cross the last expression of my LOVE I made for you. If you have known me then you can love without expecting.
Me: My pride…
God: If you want to follow me then you have to DENY yourself, take your CROSS and follow me because there is no other way than this narrow path. Your PRIDE will vanish when you deny yourself and make humble.
Me: my Health…?
GOD: NO NO NOOO… You remember it was not this world’s medicines cured you. May be people have prayed, your pastor have prayed, your own parents prayed but NOO… it was me who came there in that labor room when I saw you crying out of your labor pain and you called me … GOD HELP ME I CANT TAKE THIS PAIN. Then it was me who took your baby out of your womb safely. It was me who touched your body and healed all your hereditary sickness and illness because now you are my heir.
GOD: Wear me my Child, wear my attitude, and wear my HUMBLENESS, my PATIENCE…
Me: DAD but I … I find it hard LORD to be LIKE you. People take me for granted, when I don’t react people think I am fool, I keep on forgiving but how long will I forgive? They reject me?
GOD: Don’t give up and YES you can be like me. My grace is enough for you to follow and obey my GOSPEL.
Yes I know people will take you for granted because that’s what I people did to me. I healed them; I raised their child from DEAD still they rebel against me. I gave myself to them yet they refuse to come to me.
Yes PEOPLE will think you are FOOL when you keep quiet. But do it for me my CHILD…. Do it for me for the love I have in you…
Yes I know you keep on forgiving and you ask me how long? Then I tell you till the END and I will give you the CROWN of eternity. This is what I called you for. Didn’t I forgive you when you turned away? Didn’t I forgive you when you rebelled? Didn’t I forgive you when you refuse listening to me? I have forgiven your past SINS, still forgiving you and will keep just because I LOVE YOU.
If you talk about rejection then listen my own people rejected me, taunted me. This world will reject you because they have rejected me…
Jesus said if you don’t have love in you, if you can’t love your neighbors, if you can’t love your own brother then you lie that you know me. You fool yourself by saying that you love me. Love does not boat, there’s no wining and losing… LOVE is FORGIVENESS. the simple definition is FORGIVENESS.